Hoes, gold-diggers—“Some women would rather be a rich man’s slut than a poor man’s queen”– “She only mess with dudes that got money”– either way you put it, this describes a woman that lacks depth and is only concerned with material things and outward appearances, someone that is shallow. In my years of dating I’ve come to realize that some men are just as shallow. The only difference is that it’s not about a woman’s car, salary or home, it’s about her legs, lips and hips.
I used to think a man taking me places meant that he wanted to spend time with me. In my years of dating I’ve come to realize that some men are as shallow as they say women are and that being out with them is sometimes about you making them look better. Don’t ever think that your long hair, clear skin, plump butt and expensive perfume are not welcome around men. They don’t have to give a crap about you to have you in their circle making them look better.
I’ve had conversations with women that were stumped, dazed and confused as to why a man that they were seeing never wanted to really get to know them or spend quality quiet time together, but they had no problem taking them out and having them on their arm. Duh! That’s where the term “Arm Candy” came from. It’s not about you, it’s about them. Just like your dress would look better with those YSL pumps than the Steve Madden shoes you have, he will look better with you than he would without you because you look good.
In today’s society looking good is an asset. A certain rhythm in your step, the way that dress fits your body, how your hair drops and the accessories you choose to wear with that dress make a difference in someone’s impression of you and the man that you’re with. Notice I’m saying looking good–not pretty. Pretty is everywhere, looking good has more to do with the way you carry yourself than anything else and it’s more unique to you as an individual.
If you’re perfectly fine being on his arm and nothing else, more power to you! That works better for some people. But if you’re in this situation and want a relationship, you’re fooling yourself. A relationship in which you see a man only at restaurants, malls, clubs and hotels is not a relationship at all. He’s not losing or feeling anything by your presence, he’s gaining the swag that comes with you. Don’t allow yourself to be used to enhance someone else’s image. Instead, give your time to someone that will make the image you have of yourself better. Candy doesn’t belong on a man’s arm. It belongs covered on the dozen strawberries he has delivered to your office just because he thought it would make you smile.