I hate talking about race, really I do. I’d like to believe that we are all part of one race, the human race and that color doesn’t matter so I try to stay away from racially charged topics or discussions. However, there is one topic that I can’t help having a very strong opinion on and that’s the now widely accepted notion that there is something wrong with black women; that we are undesirable partners because we are all emotionally unstable, bitter and overall unsuitable for marriage.
A friend of mine recently sent me an article from the New York Daily News entitled “Why Black Women are Justifiably Bitter”. The author gives many reasons to justify black women’s bitterness, from the fact that on average, black women make more money than black men to the high incarceration rate of black men to being raised in single parent homes and then becoming single parents themselves etc. I agree with the author’s views, but if these are reasons that justify black women being bitter, it says that black women aren’t only to blame for their bitterness.
There are plenty black men and women that are in happy, healthy relationships or otherwise fulfilled and content with their life, but the majority of black women are lacking something that all women crave whether we realize it or not, and that’s to be loved unconditionally by a man. That love doesn’t necessarily have to come from a boyfriend or husband, it’s supposed to come from your father but if it doesn’t, you’ll be looking for it your entire life either consciously or subconsciously. This lack of love is the root of why so many black women are unhappy and it’s what leads many of us to hold on to relationships long after we should let go. It’s the reason so many of us stay loyal to men that don’t deserve us or even want us, leading to bitterness and baggage.
So what’s wrong with black women? Noting at all! It is perfectly reasonable to feel and behave the way that some of us do based on our circumstances and experiences with men. It seems that society has completely exempted black men from responsibility for the social issues that black women face today. The world seems to think that some of us just woke up one morning with bright and dreamy eyes and said, “I think I’ll be bitter from now, yeah, that’ll get me exactly what I want out of life.”
Where is the black man that was supposed to love us unconditionally? Why do black men have a higher rate of incarceration than any other race leaving black women to deal with what they leave behind when they go to jail? Why are so many black children raised without their fathers leaving black women to play the role of mother and father? Black man, what is wrong with you?
Why do so many black men choose to date outside their race because they just can’t deal with black women’s issues instead of trying to help them heal? Why are so many black men afraid of commitment leaving approximately 70% of black women unwed? Why are black men the most likely of any race to have multiple sex partners leaving black women with the highest rate of sexually transmitted diseases of any other group? Black man, what is wrong with you?
Why have so many black men molested and raped their daughters, nieces and grandchildren leaving them with emotional scars before they were even old enough to date? Black man, what is wrong with you?