I don’t usually care enough about a celebrity love story (triangle) to write a blog about it but this CRihanna featuring Karrueche Tran mess is…WOW. Firstly, this nonsense could have ended after the first sentence:

“I have decided to be single to focus on my career. I love Karrueche very much but I don’t want to see her hurt over my friendship with Rihanna, I’d rather be single allowing us to both be happy in our lives.” – Chris Brown

But anyway, let me say that I am a fan of both Chris Brown and Rihanna’s music and what they want to do in their personal lives is their business. What really struck me is the video of Chris Brown that hit the web the day after that ridiculous “statement” came out. He says, “…When you share a history with somebody, then you tend to fall in love with somebody else… it’s kind of difficult…”

Why do people, especially men, put so much emphasis on history in a relationship? I’m not saying that the things you and another person have experienced shouldn’t be valued, but those things are called memories. Memories don’t ever have to be forgotten and you can love and appreciate the memories until you die. The amount of history you have with someone shouldn’t be the only basis for whether or not you should have, or want a future with them.

I also don’t understand the notion of being in love with two people at the same time, especially if the reason that you love one of them is because of the history that you have with them. I believe that if you are in love with someone and happy with that person, there’s no way you will fall in love with someone else. Attraction―yes, maybe even sex, but in love―no. What happens is you find something in someone that you’re not getting from your mate, you like the new person, he/she is great, but history, guilt or some other imaginary obligation is keeping you from letting the first person go,  so you hold on to both of them and you eventually become confused.

Life doesn’t move backwards. When people get together they look forward to seeing each other, they look forward to new experiences together, they look forward to meeting each other’s families… Forward, forward, FORWARD!

You won’t be waking up yesterday with someone or going on a date last week. When thinking about staying with or getting back with someone, think about whether or not you are looking forward to anything with them. That’s a much better measure than the history you have.


Adia Kamaria


Published by Adia Kamaria

Adia Kamaria blogs at adiakamaria.com and is the author of two books: the novel Ana’s Magic and the memoir Yellow Tulips & Red Buses. Adia holds a Bachelor’s in Business Administration from Florida International University and a Master of Arts in Marketing Management from Middlesex University, London.

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