1. That your relationship is your relationship.
Talking to friends is therapeutic. Venting helps you to calm you down and you will feel a lot better after you do, but remember that the person you are talking to is not you and they don’t know your man the way you do. Just because her man only wore Chanel Bleu when he was cheating doesn’t mean that your man is wearing it because he is cheating too! Because your cousin’s boyfriend proposed to her the day after she met his parents, has nothing to do with you meeting your boyfriend’s parents. There really are no rules to this. Relationships are like religion and politics, they can’t be argued effectively because there really is no right answer. What your friends say may be a guide but it’s not gospel.
2. That men have feelings too
Women can have razor-sharp tongues sometimes, especially when they’re hurt. While a lot can be forgiven because all is fair in love and war, know when to shut up. I have seen and am guilty of saying some very harsh things to a man when I get mad thinking that he is a man, he can take it. They may not show it the way we do, but men hurt too. He may seem like Satan at times, but he doesn’t have gasoline running through his veins, he has blood and is capable of being hurt just like you so watch what you say to him.
3. How to say no!
Have you ever been asked out by a man and you tell him that you’re busy; it’s not a good time because…knowing that the reason is that you simply don’t want to? Just say no! Men think totally different than the way women do. You may have told him that you’re not interested in that way and that you all can be friends etc. In his mind he thinks that if you’re still entertaining him in any way he still has a chance and he will keep asking. He might skip a day or a weekend but he will ask again. You don’t need a reason why either, all you owe him is honesty. He asks, “Do you want to_________”, you reply, “No”. If you know you’re not interested the way he is, save you both some trouble and time by just saying no. While you’re at it stop keeping in touch and cut the “friend” crap too, he wants to be more than friends and you know it.
4. How to Handle a Corkscrew
No I don’t mean literally putting a screw into the cork of a bottle of wine and pulling it out. I mean that you have to know what makes you feel good, for me it’s a glass of wine. In The Daily Book of Positive Quotations by Linda Picone, she writes: “I know I’ll feel better about something six months from now, what can I do today that will make me feel at least a little better now?” When you suffer any kind of heartache you might think that time and only time will make you feel better, but if you distract yourself with something you like to do right now and every day after, before you know it you’ll be over it. Find your distraction. Distractions are good even if they are a little bad because that’s what gets you through.
5. That someone disagreeing with you does not
make them a hater.
Everyone is entitled to an opinion and that opinion might not always match yours. Someone may genuinely be trying to help you or telling you the blunt truth about a situation and because you don’t agree or you don’t want to hear the truth, you say they’re hatin’. You should be able to accept criticism, especially from your friends.