For as long as I can remember, I’ve been told that men like a challenge in a relationship. If you make yourself too available he’ll take you for granted. If you want a man to stay interested in you, you have to act like you’re not interested in him. If you call him first you’ll seem desperate. From movies to books, pop culture has engrained this message into the minds of women across America.
I understand that there may be something thrilling to men about “chasing” a woman and that men are hunters by nature with women as their prey, but to what end? At what point do men look at a woman’s actions, such as always being available to them as genuine care and concern and not vulnerability? This isn’t a playground or a high school hallway where a boy likes a girl and he picks on her for lack of a better way of getting her attention or a girl sends a note asking a boy if he likes her.
We are adults. Call me crazy, but at twenty-nine years old I show a man that I love him in the natural way given to me, by being there whenever he needs or wants me, calling just to check on him, providing a home-cooked meal, and lending my support in every way necessary. Why is a woman “needy” if she wants to spend the majority of her free time with her man? Why is she annoying if she calls again after her man didn’t return a phone call? Is she not supposed to do these things for the man she cares for? Should she wait for a ring to cook a meal? How frustrating is it to not be able to love a man the way you want to because you are worried about whether or not it will drive him away?
To be clear, I’m not saying that every man a woman dates should be showered with her affection and given the nurturing kindness that only a woman can provide. However, after dating for a few months consistently and having your feelings grow, what’s wrong with showing how much you care?
From what I’ve seen and heard recently, a woman has to ignore a man to get his attention and be unavailable for him to make time for her. It seems that the moment a man is shown that a woman is in his corner and she has his back, all bets are off, game over!