Mothers

Mothers_day_Wallpaper1[1]My mom died in February 2011. I was twenty-eight years old when I sat in the funeral home and listened to her eulogy, half-hoping she would just sit up so I could see her alive again. I was only half hoping because the previous five years of her life wasn’t living at all. She had been on and off life support, unable to walk, talk or eat solid food and her body was literally skin and bones. Her breasts seemed to have disappeared and her face was sunken in. No, that surely wasn’t the way a woman who had visited five of the seven continents would have wanted to live, so there was a huge part of me that was happy to see her finally resting in peace.

I miss my mom more and more as I get older. I realize now that I never got to be an adult with her which is when I think mother-daughter relationships are best. I never got to tell her about my first true adult love and cry on her shoulder when he broke my heart. She wasn’t at my college graduation and I couldn’t get her decorating advice for my apartment. Her home isn’t there for me to go back to if I ever needed to or if I just wanted to hang out on a Sunday afternoon. I feel emptiness knowing that when my child is born I won’t have my mom there to guide me.

I am grateful however for all the other women who have stepped into her place. My grandmother and my mom’s cousins and friends have always answered my calls when I wanted to talk about life. They have been the ones to congratulate me on accomplishments and encourage me through trails. They call to check on me when I’m traveling and advise me on “woman things”. I sit at their dinner tables on holidays and receive gifts from them on my birthdays. Women co-workers and college professors of my mom’s age have given me their shoulders to cry on and a hug just because. Life only gives you one mom, she can never be replaced but the world is full of mothers.

Losing my mom has shown me that all women are mothers. We mother our friends, families, co-workers and sometimes we even mother strangers. We are natural nurturers that celebrate each other every day in a way that only women can. So happy Mother’s Day to all the women in the world!

Kisses,

 

Adia Kamaria

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About Adia Kamaria
Adia Kamaria, a great lover of history who is proud of her Jamaican heritage, works in marketing and public relations in South Florida. Born in Chicago, IL she grew up in Miramar, Florida. Adia earned a bachelor’s degree in business administration from Florida International University and a master of arts in marketing management from Middlesex University in London. An avid reader and writer, Adia has published two books thus far: the novel Ana’s Magic followed by the memoir Yellow Tulips & Red Buses, which recounts her interesting experiences living and studying in London as a thirty-something single woman.

4 Responses to Mothers

  1. Zina_G says:

    I too lost my Mum, 12yrs ago. I’m sorry about your loss. I agree with you though, we are all Mother’s. My son and daughter are adults now. I love them dearly. I know your Mum loved you too. 🙂

  2. Akil says:

    Very touching, very moving. May your Mothers words, life lessons and the times understood and misunderstood forever give way to your moving light. Also, great point; I’ve never looked at it that way. All women are mothers. Happy Mothers Day Adia

  3. Pinkie says:

    Hi Kamaria, I enjoy reading your blog. So much to the point that you have influenced me to take up blogging again as a personal journal and outlet for my feelings and thoughts. I am really touched when you share the very delicate news of your Mother’s passing. I too lost my Mother and there isn’t a day that goes by that I dont think about her. (And it has been 25+ years since it happened) That’s why I really relate to the line where you say “I miss my Mom more and more as I get older”. Growing up without her made me feel like less than a woman, like a lost child. There was no one to talk to or to ask the intimate questions. To be honest, no one can replace Mom, there’s some things that only a mother can give. Fortunately for me, a littel later in life, someone shared some information with me and it helped me tremendously. I no longer see my mother’s passing as having a period at the end, but rather a comma.
    I hope you find some measure of comfort from this and please feel free to email me if you have any questions about it. I hope this does not offend you nor am I trying to impose any beliefs on you or your readers. I was just moved by this post and couldn’t help but share because my heart really goes out to people who experience the death of a loved one, so I am always anxious to share this comforting news in hopes of it giving back a hope that was once lost. Here it is:

    http://www.jw.org/en/publications/books/what-hope-for-dead-loved-ones/1101987030/

    • Adia Kamaria says:

      Hi Pinkie,

      My apologies for the delay in replying to you. I’m not at all offended by your comment. When I started this blog it was simply for me to have a platform to express myself. Comments like yours let me know that my expression is appreciated. Thanks for reading and sharing your view.

      Adia Kamaria

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